The Healing Art of Theatre
Photo Credit: Sweet Raspberry Studio
I stood in the dark, waiting for the lights to rise. This was it. Opening night of City of Trees, the first play I produced, wrote, directed, and acted in all at once. It was a project so close to my heart, even I was surprised I wanted to unravel elements of my life onstage for an audience to see. Despite any reservations, there was something in me that told me this story was meant to be shared.
And so, I ran with that feeling.
In 2019, I finished writing the script and founded my 501(c)(3) non-profit theater company, Sunny Side Theatre Co, in response to the lack of mental health awareness and representation for actors of color in the theatrical arts. I wanted to create a space that emphasized that performing, at its most honest and transcendent, is not actually performative. It is a human being creating a moment with another. It is understanding motivations and translating that into a scene. It shows those watching they are not alone. It gives the actors a safe arena for expression.
Like most processes, my artistic and mental health journeys came together in pieces. I started with ballet at the age of 4, followed by piano and voice lessons, and soon made the transition into writing and acting. In all of this time, I do not believe I fully came into my own as a performer until the last couple of years--until I faced my past and sought out therapy.
I am a survivor of child abuse. I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, major depression, general anxiety, and panic disorder. I have been in therapy for four years, and the guidance of my LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) has helped me change my life.
I would bring monologues to therapy sessions during the writing process. So much of who I am and what I have been through is infused into my work. After I read the most extended monologue, in which my character finally confronts the parental figure in her life who stood by and did nothing during her years of abuse, my therapist smiled. She told me she wished everyone could do what I did for catharsis.
Understanding the factors that have made you who you are such as your environment, family dynamics, and trauma can bring clarity to your identity. What you have been through and the elements of your present and future you have control over. In my experience, therapy involves finding a mental health professional who is a compatible fit for you, then working with them to come up with a plan. It is examining the tools you used to survive your trauma, then learning new tools to thrive as who you are now. It is setting boundaries. It is making little tweaks in the form of positive thinking that makes a huge difference for yourself and your relationship with others.
The stigma of therapy exists, but so do the genuine benefits of healing.
After opening night in August, as I breathed through the post-show buzz, clasped my actor’s hands, and bowed to the audience, I realized I had spoken my truth, and the world did not end. With both the scariest and most glorious parts of my history revealed, something inside me shifted after that.
And the feeling left in the aftermath…it felt a lot like freedom.
To connect with Johánna Crystal visit her Website: https://sunnysidetheatre.org or social media Instagram: https://instagram.com/sunnysidetheatre
