Healing From Heartbreak: Navigating Grief and Moving Forward After Loss

By: Victoria Shedrick, LPC

There is no pain quite like heartbreak. Soul-crushing. Paralyzing. A wave of emotions that make you question your identity, value, and sense of self-worth. Heartbreak is often underestimated in how deeply it can disrupt our lives, along with our mental and emotional well-being. Although deeply painful, heartbreak can become a powerful teacher. Through it, you can learn to love yourself more fully, cultivate a deeper sense of inner peace, and heal parts of yourself you may not have realized needed attention. The grieving process that follows heartbreak is not easy, but necessary—one where strength, resilience, and growth are on the other side.

THE GRIEVING PROCESS

When people hear the word grief, they often think of death of a loved one. While grief is certainly tied to death, it is ultimately about loss—and loss comes in many forms. Divorce, separation, or the ending of a significant partnership can trigger the same emotional and psychological responses as experienced with a death. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced a widely recognized model describing the five stages of grief, originally developed to understand responses to death and terminal illness. Over time, this framework has been applied to other significant losses, including the end of intimate relationships. Grief is not linear. People may move back and forth between stages. Many individuals, however, experience some version of the following: 1) denial; 2) anger; 3) bargaining; 4) depression and 5) acceptance.

When applied to heartbreak, these stages may present in the following ways:

Denial

- Avoiding conversations about the breakup

-Staying overly busy to suppress emotions

-Minimizing the significance of the loss

- Holding onto the belief of reconciliation

Anger

- Ruminating thoughts about what went wrong

- Irritability or snapping at others

- Resentment toward the former partner

-Self-blame or blaming others

Bargaining

-Replaying “what if” scenarios

-Questioning a higher power

-Making internal promises (“If I change, maybe I can fix things.”)

-Believing the loss could have been prevented with different actions

Depression

- Persistent sadness or emotional numbness

-Decreased motivation or energy

- Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities

- Changes in sleep or appetite

- Social withdrawal

- Feelings of hopelessness or despair

Important Note: If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicidal ideation, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. Support is available 24/7.

Acceptance

- You can talk about the relationship with less emotional distress

-The breakup doesn’t consume your thoughts as much

- You feel more emotionally stable

- You are able to look toward the future with openness and hope

PRACTICAL COPING STRATEGIES

As you move through heartbreak, it’s important to extend yourself grace. Feelings of remorse, regret, self-blame, doubt, or shame are normal when a relationship ends. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment. Be gentle with yourself, and know there is no set timeline for healing. Here are a few practical strategies to help navigate grief from heartbreak with greater ease:

1. Rely on Your Support System: heartbreak is not meant to be faced alone. Trusted friends, family, or loved ones can provide encouragement, perspective, and care. Allow them to show up. Communicate your needs clearly. Even simply sharing how you feel can lighten the weight of grief.

2. Journaling and Therapeutic Writing: written expression is a safe way to process your thoughts and emotions. You can journal when difficult feelings emerge, write letters to yourself or to your ex. The paper doesn’t judge or talk back. You’re free to reflect, release, and understand your experience in your own way. How you use what you write is up to you—keep it, share it, or discard it.

3. Engage in Joyful Activities and Hobbies: intentional self-care goes beyond trends. It’s about finding real moments of joy and peace. Explore new hobbies, revisit activities you once loved, express yourself through art, movement, or music. Carve out time for something that makes you feel alive. Small, intentional moments of pleasure are a vital part of healing.

4. Seek Professional Support: therapy can be a powerful tool. A therapist will not only listen, but validate your experience, and walk with you along your healing journey. You’ll also learn ways to manage emotional distress and triggers.

EMPOWERMENT AND MOVING FORWARD

Heartbreak isn’t the end of your story. It can be the beginning of a new chapter. Moving forward may look like greater confidence, trusting yourself again, and knowing you have the wisdom to protect your heart. It is a reminder that you are capable of loving again. Timing matters—there is no rush to heal, move on, or jump into a new relationship. Allow this to be a slow, intentional process that honors who you are and who you are becoming. Heartbreak does not have to define you. It can, however, empower you, and guide you toward a version of yourself you’re proud to meet. If you’d like a helpful resource to guide you through your healing journey, my e-journal, Healing from Heartbreak: Letting Go When It’s Hard to Move On, offers gentle, compassionate support. It’s available for instant download on Etsy http://drvandthegentleshift.etsy.com

Dr. Victoria Shedrick, LPC  is a licensed professional counselor, writer, and education with over 20 years of experience in mental health. She currently provides immigration psychological evaluations, clinical supervision for therapist, and consultative support for agencies and group practices. She is deeply committed to reducing mental health stigma in Black communities and strengthening culturally responsive care. Her work includes creating trauma-informed content centered on healing, emotional wellness, and spiritual growth. To connect with her you can email her or follow her on these platforms. Email: info@keycounselingcc.com TikTok: @ dr.v_godandtherapy YouTube: @ dr.v_speaks Patreon: www.patreon.com/thegentleshift where you can find journals and ebooks to help with overstimulation.